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Eight Legged Freaks
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Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

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Plot Summary:
"A variety of horrible poisonous spiders get exposed to a noxious chemical which causes them to grow to monumental proportion."

Reviewer: Matt Molgaard @mattmolgaard
Location:California, USA
Review Date: 03 March 2011 My Rating: out of 5


After a drowsy driver transporting toxic waste collides with a side-rail, a barrel of the hazardous goo is launched into a small bed of water in the quiet mining town of Prosperity, Arizona. Transferred via cricket by way of the awkward Joshua (Tom Noonan) Taft, (who runs a local spider farm) the farm's residents, having eaten the crickets eventually mutate into enormous man eating monsters. Chris (David Arquette) McCormick, a former resident with a questionable past shows up just in time to aide local sheriff (and former love) Samantha (Kari Wuhrer) Parker in a quest to stop the monstrous spiders before the entire town has been consumed and offered up to the female, a hungry and mammoth beast that dwarfs even the largest of these mutated creatures.

Well this one here is quite interesting really. It's got some CGI that invokes a feeling of nausea that surpasses the worlds worst hangover, some horrific dialog, and a script as creative as those Gucci handbags your girlfriend picked up at the local auction. And I love every last minute of it. From the unbelievably fake looking tarantula prancing around, to the goofy demeanor that David Arquette never leaves home without - it’s just a load of fun, from beginning to end.

While it may seem I'm painting the image that the film is a technical disaster, believe me when I say it's not. The film is intentionally over-the-top, nothing here is incidental, and honestly: writer/director Ellory Elkayem crafts a pretty damn good tribute to 1950's B monster movies. The golly-gee innocence of yesteryear is present, though not obnoxiously pronounced, the action moves at a rapid fire pace and there's a solid handful of likeable characters scattered throughout the picture. To add a little icing on the cake, Elkayem made sure to include plenty of goofy comedy that really separates EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS from so many other attempted homage's, as this one is actually funny as well as fun.

Take note that EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS will not satisfy everyone. For some, the film will (without a doubt) be to cheesy; for others, it's bounds to summon a nostalgic dose of grand entertainment. I personally know a few who are completely indifferent to the picture. For this cornball of a writer, it's a blast that's worth revisiting, time and again - and if you enjoy old school monster movies, it's not unlikely you'll dig EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS.

When it comes to cheesy action horror, few films top this goofy adventure. Come on, the already silly-beyond-belief David Arquette given free reign? I'm all in.

Reviewer: Tariq Rafiq @horrorasylum
Location:South Bucks, UK
Review Date: 17 August 2004 My Rating: out of 5

A comedy horror film that looks has a great trailer that basically shows you al the good bits of the film. Fun, but could have been better.

If you have seen 'Arachnaphobia' you will be familiar with the storyline - mutant spiders, who are freakishly strong, terrorise an American small town. This version is done more for laughs and has David Arquette doing an Edward Norton circa 'Fight Club' impression without any of Norton's depth or integrity.

It is a fun film that has some genuinely scary moments, even if you have a slight phobia of spiders. However, the disappointment lies in the fact that it does not live up to the coolness implied to in the trailer. Many films have been guilty of this same crime, but I had high hopes for this one. The 'Scooby Doo' trailer had a witty ironic edge to the trailer that was completely lacking in the actual film (along with any visible filmmaking skill or acting talent); the Austin Powers trailer looked like a continuation of the characters we have grown to love, not a simple rehash of the films that have gone before.

It is an amusing film that has some impressive moments but is probably best caught on video rental, or wait two weeks and Channel 5 will probably show it.

Reviewer: Phil Davies Brown @horrorasylum
Location:Scotland, UK
Review Date: 11 January 2004 My Rating: out of 5

This big budget B-movie starts out well but quickly descends into predictability, relying on farce for giggles.

Chris McCormack returns to his home town of Prosperity following his father's death, to find the town over-run by giant spiders following a toxic waste accident, and finds himself caught up in a life and death struggle with the town's sherrif, her deputy, and a pirate radio DJ/conspiracy theorist.

The film does provide a few jumps but goes mainly for laughs across it's range of action set pieces.

The film is perfect popcorn fodder but there is ultimately nothing here that elevates it above the average B-movie except the budget.

Watch Arachnophobia again instead! It's scarier and funnier!

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