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Blood Gnome
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Blood Gnome (2002)

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Plot Summary:

Review by
Phil Davies Brown
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Review Date: 08 November 2003 My Rating: out of 5


Following in the footsteps of 'Troll' comes this silly film which proves that if it smells like crap and looks like crap, then it definitely is crap!

A mad BDSM ho, cooks up a demonic vagina which eats body parts and then gives birth to devil gnomes and produces drugs (I kid you not!).

A C.S.I guy gets caught up in the proceedings and arses around for 80 minutes as a fetish community fears for it's lives (although clearly not that much, as the Angelina Jolie knive play style of fornication ensues regardless).

Anyway, the C.S.I guy hooks up with a tart with a heart and risks it all to save her ('all' being his life, as he has a one bedroom apartment in scumsville city that contains only a lamp and a bed, and is ever closer to getting his P 60 everyday).

The story and actors (with the exception of Julie Strain who only had to show up and look good) are rubbish, which is a shame as a lot of effort did go into this (or so we are told in the making of featurette) with the lead actor taking on at least 6 crew roles as well as lending his (ahem) talent to the picture.

Credit does however go to the cast and crew for their efforts, who despite decent enough creature effects are let down by lack of budget. At the end of the day they did try to do something different rather than knock out a cheapo slasher flick.

The gnomes are ok looking, but are hardly the main focus. Apart from the inclusion of information on how they made the demonic vagina from styrofoam and paint, there isn't even anything to make you laugh.

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