Horror movies are great for scaring you, causing you to think twice about turning the lights off and driving down a deserted highway late at night. But what about the horror movies that seep in and make you think twice about getting laid? You know, the ones that make your sexy bits mentally invert themselves and show up in your brain when you're getting your hump on? Yeah, those ones. They're awesome, demented and you can't look away, even though you wish you had.
Let's explore some of the most deranged sex scenes that horror movies have brought us, shall we? Just guard your loins...
Teeth is every man's nightmare. As a comedic horror movie, the plot explores the life of a girl who discovers she has teeth in her vagina, also known as vagina dentata. There are a lot of gruesome dick bitting scenes in the movie, but for this one we're going with the one when she goes to the doctor to get checked out. He shoves his fingers up her pipes to investigate only to have four of them chomped off. Watch it here.
This mid-nineties gem follows a group of scientists who are trying to track down an alien (Natasha Henstridge that is trying to reproduce with a human. She eventually is able to seduce Dr. Stephen Arden (Alfred Molina) and rides him cowgirl style. While going at it, she tells him that she feels life inside of her belly. Then out comes the back spikes and Stephen's death. Watch it here and beware of super hot women who are eager to sleep with you.
The Evil Dead (1981)
I'm talking about the 80's version, not the remake. This movie follows a group of 5 college students that are staying at a cabin the woods. They end up finding an audiotape that when played releases a slew of demons. Slowly but surely, the demons possess each character. While the movie is gory, the sex scene that will stay with you is the tree rape scene. Cheryl (Ellen Sandweiss) is running through the woods and suddenly gets nabbed by a demon tree. It forces her spread eagle and rapes her with its branches. Get your view on here.
This movie tells the story of Herbert West (Jeffrey Combs), a medical student who has figured out how to reanimate the dead and sometimes even just parts of the dead. Unfortunately, a corrupt doctor gets ahold of his serum and ends up having to use it on himself. This famous scene shows when the corrupt and now headless doctor (David Gale) kidnaps Megan (Barbara Crampton) and uses his disembodied head to go down on her. See the fun here.
While these four scenes are certainly gross and deranged, they may not necessarily thwart you from getting it on or at least whipping out your adameve.com toys. However, I have a bonus two scenes that are guaranteed to stay with you and mess you up. They're sex scenes that create a sickening feeling in the base of your stomach that slowly radiates through your body and wreaks havoc on your brain when you're just trying to have normal day.
I'm talking about none other than Requiem for a Dream and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. These two obviously fall more under psychological thrillers than horror, but that doesn't mean the scenes won't horrify you.
Requiem for a Dream (2000)
In this movie, three friends explore the depths of their addiction to heroin and cocaine. They begin to fall off the deep end when the money is low and the supplies are dry. The last thirty minutes of this movie is a visual and mental trainwreck that culminates into the famous "Ass to Ass" scene. The female lead, Marion (Jennifer Connolly) attends a sex party in order to score some blow. I don't know if it's the old men, the amount of lube or the disturbing look of satisfaction she has afterwards that destroys me the most. Check it out.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)
This movie, based off the book written by Swedish Stieg Larsson, is a dark thriller that is, in my opinion, far creepier than any horror movie I've ever seen. While I have not see the original Swedish version (and definitely don't think I'm going to), I can tell you this one does not disappoint. In this movie, Mikael (Daniel Craig) is a journalist who gets contacted by a wealthy family living north of Stockholm to help solve a missing person case. He enlists the help of a troubled girl, Lisbeth (Rooney Mara) and slowly but surely gets sucked into the deep, dark secrets this family has. The scene that will destroy you is the lengthy rape scene between Lisbeth and her parole officer. It's gut wrenching. I couldn't bring myself to rewatch it for this article, nor could I find the remake of it. See the original here and wish you hadn't.