Someoneís strolling along, minding their business, itís an average day and then, suddenly your zombified buddy is trying to turn your face into a snack. That starts, what promises to be a group of heroís and heroines who fight to survive the end of humanity, not everyone will survive, but they are heroes never the less. Sound familiar? Itís the foundation of every zombie movie, ever. Maybe not ever, but close enough.
Good thing for us weíve been a bit zombie obsessed in the horror genre, and if watching peopleís brains liquefy and run out their ears, while their skin melts off like wax isnít awesome enough. Itís taught us a thing or two about survival. Howís that? A movie and an education.
Hereís what you need to know about surviving the Zompiepocalypse.
Have an Emergency Kit Ready
Brainless cannibalism starts to spread across the world and everyone runs for the local grocer, because no one ever plans for a zombie apocalypse.†
So instead of doing your weekly food shopping while avoiding the ankle-snapping zombie in the fresh produce isle. Put together a supply kit. Food, water, medication, batteries (because everyone owns a torch when zombies attack) and a weapon.
The weapon type is nonspecific because it really depends what kind of Zombie outbreak you are dealing with. Turns out a lighter and can of deodorant are not a sure bet.†
This is solid advice for any kind of emergency. Hurricane, Tornado, or even Zombie Vampire Hybrids.†
Zombie Proof Your House
You will need to ensure that your house is zombie proof. Unfortunately, it seems that once zombies strike, there is very little time to get these things done and you probably donít want to be inviting random, potentially zombified handymen over to redo your burglar bars.†
So, the time to act is now. We are talking slide down steel window coverings, bombs discreetly planted in your flowerbeds and security measures as stringent as an online casino New Zealand enforces.†
And remember, be a responsible pet owner and keep your dog on a leash. The last thing you need is to kill your zombie dog while trying to DIY zombie proof your house.†
Plus, you can build an underground man cave / wine cellar / impenetrable zombie bunker.
Donít Be a Hero, Just Let Them Die
Why bother trying to cure zombification? You must ask yourself if thatís something even worth pursuing.†
I understand that no zombie movie has shown the end of zombies, ever, so we donít know what happens when they run out of human snacks, but people around the world still poop themselves to death.†
So isnít it a bit arrogant to think you can cure zombieism. Move on; start digging that wine cellar, sorry impenetrable zombie bunker. †
Those who didnít prepare deserve what they get.
Refine Your Zombie Killing Skills
Of the zombie types we have come across most respond to head injury, whether a bullet or decapitation, with death.†
The proper kind that they donít return from. So, practising your aim if you have a gun, or your technique if you prefer to use a Samurai sword, is vital to survival.†
Lastly, always remember, if its not on Facebook it isnít happening. So, make sure to keep up to date on social media and donít ignore that email that mentions zombies, Brad Pittís buddies did that and look where it got them.