Herbert West

Real Name: Herbert West
Date of Birth: Around 1950s
Place of Birth: Unknown
Race: Caucasian Sex: Male
Height: UnknownWeight: Unknown

Current Location: West, once an inmate at an old prison, has escaped his incarceration.

ALIVE AND KICKING ASS

What does everyone on this planet have in common? Well we're all gonna die!, that wasn't a threat and I'm sorry if it has come as quite a shock to some of my more naiive readers out there but it's a fact. So if some goggle-eyed frinkster scientist was on the evening news claiming he and his team have discovered a cure for death how would you feel? Relieved? Maybe, but think of the consequences - more traffic congestion, over population, and even more of those people out there who actually really do like boybands...its a thought that keeps me awake at night.

Well when all's said and done Herbert West steps forward and claims his title. For Herbert has discovered a serum to reanimate the dead. But Auntie May and Grandpa Al ain't nothing like they used to be. These corpses don't simply wake up and get on with the washing, they become rather agitated zombie killing machines.

Herbert West can almost be laughed off as just another one of those run-of-the-mill cliches. "A mad scientist", how many times have we read that in a synopsis? But Herbert's different, he really is one disturbed individual intent of giving life to the decay. Of course he has his critics (don't we all?), but even the late Dr. Hill whom tried his very hardest to steal Herbert's hard work found out (albeit the hard way!) that West's serum was a success.

OK so Herbert isn't necessarily looking to go around purposely killing victims to test his new life enhancing goo but still the means, the ability and the outcome gives Herbert his much deserved Psycho crown. Because he is, for all intents and purposes, a bit of a loon. Maybe its that slick trim haircut or pursed lips but underneath the suit and tie is one crazy dude. Of course a relaxed and polite exterior but trustworthy when it comes to him arranging your mothers funeral? well gee - I don't think so.

Think about it. You're sat down having a quick hand of poker with the likes of Hannibal Lector, Jason Voorhees and of course our Herbert. Lector's needless poker face well hidden by the grated mask concealing most of his face. Jason's moronic display of card cutting with the use of a dangerously sharp machete. And Herbert sat quietly deciding between the salt and vinegar or cheese and onion Pringles. A cosy set-up you might think (or not). But it's not until Jason rips you into several pieces on the card table over some harmless bluffing, Hannibal chews up the loose bits as appetisers and cracks open a bottle of the Cianti that you begin to think. "Sure, I'm in pain now, but I'll be dead after a few more pints of blood are leaked." But you'd be wrong because just before your brain and spine are severed you notice Herbert taking a syringe from his case. So now you gotta think, "Sh#t, why can't I just rest in peace?". You don't wanna be roaming the streets at night in this cold and feeding on brain scraps, what kind of life is that? Well what kinda of afterlife is that?

Herbert is very much unlike many of the other Psycho's featured in this section from the last few months but to be truely psychotic takes a lot. And it comes in so many forms. So don't be surprised to read about someone like President Bush here next time. Coz that dude is mental!

Psycho Analysis by Steven Davies © 2003