Latest Horror Movie Reviews

Mischa Barton and Rebecca De Mornay star in this remake of one of the worst films I’ve ever seen in my life and whilst it’s a marked improvement over the original, it’s ultimately a slow moving, dull affair.

This sequel went straight to DVD in the UK which was a shame as it’s one of the best horror films I’ve seen in quite some time.

Friends and family are gathered together for the wedding of Clara (Leticia Dolera) and Koldo (Diego Martin), and we watch the wedding unfold, lensed by a relative (Alex Monner), as well as a videographer named Atun (Borja Gonzalez Santaolalla) who is apparently in love with the term ‘cinema verite’ (either that or it’s the only cinematic term he knows and is a complete fraud). Unfortunately, during the reception, an uncle suddenly takes a chunk out of someone’s face and the gory zombie wedding buffet commences. But the happy couple haven’t had time to consummate the marriage yet!

Imagine a night where any crime is legal, including murder. Who would you ‘purge’ given half a chance? Writer-director James DeMonaco’s The Purge is more frightening in concept than conception, though it’s still a solid and watchable affair. It doesn’t offer any new chills that other under siege-style horrors haven’t already. It’s also not as creepy as Paranormal Activity or Sinister – though producer Jason Blum’s influence is apparent having worked on all three. However, The Purge’s initial strength before the mayhem begins is fuelling that deep-seated fear of lawlessness and loss of control, heightened by the horn that signals the start of ‘anything goes’ – including our viewing journey.

Brian Geraghty and Alice Eve play two investment firm co-workers clearly attracted to one another, who leave an office party together so that Geraghty can drive Eve home (and hopefully get a date out of it). Unfortunately, Geraghty’s jerk pal Josh Peck wants to tag along too. He also gets the munchies and makes Geraghty stop at an ATM station to get some cash for food. This little detour proves their undoing, however, when the trio find themselves inside the station in freezing temperatures, with a menacing killer waiting for them in the parking lot outside. What do you do? (Run for cryin’ out loud!)

I would normally open a review in this way but felt that this was the best way to sum up this film. On the IMDB website the tagline for Quite A Conundrum reads:

There are occasions when a film is so powerful, so affecting that it stays with you for some time. This could be down to the message in the film, the images on the screen, the performances or a combination of all of these. The Seasoning House is one such film and I would challenge anyone who sees it not to be affected by its subject matter and intensity.

Two otherwise unrelated children, a boy in Spain (Izan Corchero) and a girl in England (Ella Purnell, whose character is seriously named Mia Farrow!) claim to be haunted by a malevolent ghostly entity known as Hollowface, who is, like the name suggests, in need of a face and is trying to steal that of the children. The boy’s mother (Pilar Lopez de Ayala) attempts to help her boy by enlisting the aid of a priest (Daniel Brühl), who feels ill-equipped to help her. Mia’s dad Clive Owen, meanwhile, tries to convince his daughter that nothing sinister is invading her bedroom. But then he too starts to see this nightmarish entity, and must contend not only with it, but an unhelpful wife (Carice van Houten, in a shrewish performance) who thinks they are both crazy.

The Rohl Farms Enterprise is a found footage documentary that takes its influence from films such as Blair Witch Project rather than the recent Paranormal Activity franchise and it's imitators. The biggest, and potentially most exciting, difference here though is that this is a youtube upload and is about as low budget and independent as a film can be.

A post-“Harry Potter” Daniel Radcliffe stars as a widowed young father and lawyer (!), struggling with grief. Set in the early 20th century, Radcliffe’s firm sends him to a remote English village to go through the estate papers of a deceased woman. He gets a frosty reception from the locals, and soon after entering the dead woman’s house, things start to get all spooky and ghostly. In particular he is visited by a creepy woman in black (Hey, that should be the title!). Ciaran Hinds and Janet McTeer play the only welcoming people in town, which might just make you want to turn right around then and there, don’t you think?

When any films open with the statement, or uses in the tagline, “based on true events”, “inspired by true events” or something similar it is immediately creating pressure for itself. Even the most historically accurate productions will take some poetic licence either my merging characters or adding lines to the script, but in horror the problem is even greater. In this genre the greatest difficulty is that much of what happens in horror films just doesn’t happen in real life.This brings me to 247*F the new film from writer Lloyd S. Magner and directors Levan Bakhia and Beqa Jguburia.

Much like meddling with a certain sinister, leather-bound book, remaking untouchably classic works of horror is a notoriously risky business that’s seen more than its share of expensive, creatively lifeless misfires. But as a venture both conceived and produced by the Evil Dead’s original creators, it’s out of an artful balance of authenticity and fresh cinematic vision that director Fede Alvarez unleashes his exceptionally gory, gloomily atmospheric retelling.

Lucie (played as an adult by Mylène Jampanoï) has never gotten over her rough childhood where she was apparently locked up and subjected to abuse. She eventually escaped and ended up in an orphanage where she met and formed a bond with Anna (played as an adult by Emmy Rossum lookalike Morjana Alaoui). Cut to fifteen years later and Lucie has just broken into the supposed home of her one-time tormenters and their kids. She does away with them all, and then calls a concerned Anna to come meet her. And then Lucie is attacked by a deformed, naked figure. Or is this just a figment of Lucie’s demented mind? Did she even target the right family with her vengeance? Believe me, you ain’t heard the half of it yet.

It is alarmingly rare for a horror film to surprise. In a market crammed full of remakes and franchises that exist solely for commercial reasons, and often lack quality, it is refreshing to discover something original. Thale from writer / director Aleksander Nordaas definitely falls into this category.

Remaking any film, particularly in the horror genre, is a brave project to attempt and a difficult one to get right. On the one hand you have potentially legions of fans of the original production who must be appeased and on the other you have the need to appeal to a new market, for the most part consisting of an audience that has not seen the source material. Most fail but with Franck Khalfoun's Maniac, we can all breathe a huge sigh of relief.

Arriving next week on DVD and Blu-ray here in the UK comes Dennis Kelly's triumphantly conspiratorial series 'Utopia'. A wonderfully written and directed show that once again highlights Channel 4's astute eye for such unique televisual projects. Channel 4 are brilliantly selective about their projects especially when it comes to original drama and in just the first couple of months of 2013 it has already showcased this keen eye.

If there is one law, one rule that film studios will always, always abide by it is that if a film makes money, no matter how bad that film is, then there is potential for a franchise. To put it another way, if someone offered you a guaranteed return of $138 million (at time of writing) on an outlay estimated at less than $5 million you’d be mad not to go for it wouldn’t you?

Fernanda Andrade is a Yank abroad (Or is that a Yank broad? Get it? Thank You, I’m here all week) in Rome followed by a documentary crew, in an attempt to understand what happened to her mother (Suzan Crowley- Does that make her Mrs. Crowley? Oh come on, I’m hilarious!), who is currently holed up in an insane asylum after an apparently botched exorcism resulted in her killing three clergymen several years ago. Oopsy, that’s a bit of a pickle, isn’t it? The doctors say she’s mentally ill, but Andrade also talks to two young, rogue priests (the fantastically named Simon Quaterman and Evan Helmuth) who believe many cases of supposed mental illness are really something far more demonic in nature. Thus, Andrade decides another exorcism on her mother is in order, but things don’t quite go according to plan. Funny that.

At a time when the majority of the population is connected in some way through social media whether that is facebook, twitter, youtube or the like it is inevitable that there will be filmmakers who take this as their inspiration. Smiley is one such film, with it's plot centred around the shady world of the anonymous internet chatroom.

One movie that was high on my 'anticipation' horror list in 2012 was that of the Scott Derrickson helmed 'Sinister'. It arrives on DVD and Blu-ray today here in the UK and so we revisit the terrifying tale of the Oswalt family. Ethan Hawke plays Ellison Oswalt, a disgraced true crime writer who packs up his stuff and moves his family into a new home. A home that just happens to be the location of a brutal murder of an entire family, unbeknownst to his supportive wife, played by Juliet Rylance. Oswalt struggles with his sanity and morality when he uncovers an box of old home movie reels in his attic. The recordings feature the various, and sickening, demise of a number of families and its up to Oswalt to investigate and piece together the mysterious happenings in order to pen his new book.

When you read any of the press releases or plot notes for Crawlspace you immediately think Alien. What you actually get is something completely different more akin to Aliens, but with a few interesting ideas.

Neil Maskell plays a former soldier now long-married to wife MyAnna Buring, with whom he has a child he dotes on. Their marriage is at present an extremely stressful one, with the duo frequently having violent rows. In full view of other people, I might add. Maskell and his buddy Michael Smiley work as hitmen, and are currently on a job with the title list of several targets. But as they work their way down the list, Maskell seems to become more and more unhinged, and then things start to take a very weird and unexpected turn. Emma Fryer plays Smiley’s rather Goth new squeeze.

Werewolves may have long been the stuff of farcical, special effects-laden fodder, but beneath a mainstream radar dogged by style-over-substance blockbusters lies an altogether edgier title that tears into this hackneyed trend with gory, wisecracking aplomb. Forged from a sharp-witted parallel between these lunar, supernatural horrors and the 'curse' of menstruation, director John Fawcett’s adept intermingling of raw menace and deliciously twisted humour is a rare, genre-defying feat.

Emma Caulfield stars as Victoria Peyton in this made for TV thriller about a stressed-out architect who relocates from the big city to the quiet suburbs with her family after a breakdown. When she begins to suspect that her eerie neighbour Fritz Wolfram is hiding someone in his basement, her family dismiss it as boredom/an over-active imagination/as a result of her recent health issues (insert any reason you can think of) BUT, the truth is more terrifying!

It would be pretty difficult to dispute the fact that there are just too many sequels and remakes around these days, whatever genre they fall into. It would also be difficult to argue that the majority are poor and that some are just simply awful. With that in mind the odds of any film series reaching its fifth instalment and maintaining a high standard is slim, so Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines is up against it from the start.