Oy, where to begin with this little crap weasel?
I enjoy a good stupid film as much as the next guy, but usually they tend to have some fun about them, not this one though. It’s a turgid,
uninvolving mess.
Based on a Stephen King novel (not the death knell many believe it to be, if you ask me), the film is kinda sorta about four friends from Maine who
all share a link with an idiot savant named Duddits who may have special
powers and may indeed have given those powers to his childhood saviors.
Maybe. I dunno. Then it seems the grown-up friends stumble upon a deadly
plague whereby aliens gestate in the stomachs of humans only to burst out
in the least appetising place possible.
And then looney army guy Morgan Freeman and his more ambiguous upstart Tom Sizemore turn up with plans to nuke everything. Welcome to Hell, folks. I mean, Crap Weasels? And I’m actually editing that, their real names are even less charming.
Whether it is Stephen King who has lost his mind (I have not read the
book) or director Lawrence Kasdan, working with increasingly infuriating
screenwriter William Goldman, I’m unsure. All I know is that this is the
worst kind of bad movie, the kind that features aliens called Crap
Weasels, and yet takes them utterly seriously.
This is the weirdest and goofiest end of the world scenario since ‘Hitch-hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’, only less fun. Badly acted, especially by Damian Lewis as one of the most unfortunate of the four buddies, but even Morgan Freeman is awful
here and Jason Lee’s character is a complete moron. Sizemore is fine but wasted in an underwritten role.
OVERALL SUMMARY
Good-looking, but empty-headed and ultra-serious monstrosity. You really
know you’re watching a bad film when it revolves around characters called
crap weasels.
