Somehow this masterpiece has fallen into a dangerously deep crevice located smack-dab in the center of No Man’s Land. How it’s happened is completely beyond me, as this is one clever, and damn original (especially for it’s time) piece of work. Which is the reasoning behind this reminder of an article. If you happen to spot it for a fair price (I paid $3 for my copy of the DVD) – pick it up, it’s a surprisingly worthy investment.
Based on the 1991 novel DELLAMORTE DELLAMORE by Tiziano Sclavi, CEMETERY MAN is the tale of Francesco (Rupert Everett) Dellamorte, Buffalora, Italy’s cemetery caretaker. Francesco is an awkward gentleman, reclusive by nature and career. His assistant, the mentally challenged Gnaghi (Francois Hadji-Lazaro) handles most of the dirty work, and speaks little, while Francesco takes care of any… visitors that may arise. Those visitors just so happen to be the undead, which in this cemetery have a tendency to rise within about a week of their deaths. That may terrify the average soul, but for Francesco and Gnaghi it’s only another excuse to put the shovel, or revolver to use.
When a mysterious woman (Anna Falchi) arrives in the cemetery after her husband has passed, Francesco is smitten on site. As she stands before her husbands grave, Francesco makes his move, attempting to seduce the widow. Not as distraught as one may expect, the woman acts upon Francesco’s advances, and the two make love in the cemetery. But her deceased husband isn’t too pleased, and as the two consummate their sudden (and quite unexpected) desire for one another (right on her husbands grave may I add), he rises from his resting place to express his… distaste with such a crude and disrespectful act. In one final act, the betrayed corpse attacks his tactless widow, biting the woman. Believing she’s returned as a zombie, Francesco shoots and kills her, bringing abrupt closure to Francesco’s newfound love.
Deeply depressed Francesco begins to spiral into an uncontrollable depression. Everywhere he goes he encounters women who bear a striking resemblance to his lost love. Each encounter leads to inevitable failure, despite the extremes in which Francesco is willing to travel to in order to reignite his previous passion. Penis lost (…just watch it), sanity further strained – Francesco and Gnaghi pack up a select few belongings and attempt to leave Buffalora for a new beginning. But sometimes fate has a way of altering plans, which Francesco and Gnaghi are about to discover.
Clever, humorous and gruesome, CEMETERY MAN is a must for any horror fan. Rupert Everett is brilliant, Francois Hadji-Lazaro is an absolute riot and Anna Falchi is drop dead gorgeous with a rack to die for (see husband). Wonderfully creepy set pieces and a dose of graphic (yet comical) gore sure to rekindle memories of the EVIL DEAD franchise are on full display. Each of these elements carefully layered upon a bold and creative screenplay penned by Gianni Romoli and directed by the immensely talented Michele Soavi (DELIRIA, LA CHIESA) make for a memorable, and extremely entertaining sleeper. In closing, I reiterate: go grab this beauty!
OVERALL SUMMARY
Cemetery Man offers a wide array of emotions. Ironically the humanity within the film is what really helps to set it apart.
