Lindsay Lohan steps away from her usual sweet mouthed young lady roles to get her lips around playing a white trash stripper in this peculiar horror movie that seems like it’s been pulled off the shelf by some overzealous art school student. Now try and forget the only reason you picked this one up was to hopefully glance at Lindsay Lohan’s breasts and writhing seductive body all over the celluloid because the girl (as expected) isn’t topless, isn’t overly seductive and there truly is some weak ass story revolving around these notorious sequences.
‘I Know Who Killed Me’, even with it’s oddly erroneous title, is a farty little flick that didn’t gain, peak or supersede my interests. The movie as you may know was panned by those with the critical eye and this reviewer is by no means this film’s saviour. Just to note THIS REVIEW DOES CONTAIN REFERENCES THAT COULD BE REGARDED AS SPOILERS.
The movie that should of had direct-to-disc plastered all over the script should at least have managed to pull a little gravitas with the appearance of Lindsay Lohan in the lead role. Sadly Miss Lohan is completely out of sorts is this oddly paced mess of a movie. Her performance is underwhelming but not as woeful as her fellow actors. You can blame the material but yikes(!) some of it was cringe-worthy.
Lindsay essentially plays two characters, Dakota and Aubrey, the latter being the high school bint who eclipses everyone else with her sickening displays of over-achievement in every academic sector. Dakota on the other hand is a rougher, tougher little madame short of cash who takes to exotic dancing to pay her way. Aubrey is abducted and tortured by a New Salem sadistic serial killer and whilst the FBI goof-ups are trying to discover their ass from their elbow Aubrey (or so it seems) shows up on a quiet road. Aubrey sadly isn’t half the girl she was as the sadistic killer has removed her hand, fingers and leg. Oh and she claims to actually now be Dakota.
Aside from seeing the plot-twist coming from Mars, in spite of an over-played emphasis on Aubrey’s ‘so-called’ literary talents, the explanations and conclusions that are drawn by the lead character are inanely revealed in record pace. The ‘twin’ cognitiveness scenario is stretched on every occasion and the over-prominence of colours, in particularly blue is pointless and only aids to bore.
OVERALL SUMMARY
The whole mess simply lacks sense or substance. It’s transition scenes begin to irritate and Lohan is below sub-par. Yes she exposes a bit of skin, but it ain’t even worth the rental cost to see it. There is a few selective topless shots in the strip joint but sadly not of Lindsay herself. Even with this apparent titillation it still doesn’t feel a worthwhile watch. She is involved in a sex scene but even amputee sex doesn’t ring my bell. The only real fact that I can think helped link Lohan to this project was the likelihood that the screenplay that landed across her desk was actually entitled ‘The Parent Trap 2’. I mean what next!? I STILL Know Who Killed Me?
