This is a joke right? After watching some really good new horror movies lately, I got greedy and rented this in my quest to see the next best thing. Sadly, this now means that the last horror movie I viewed in 2004 was the sloppiest piece of work I have seen in ages.
The basic plot involved a druid priestess coming home to pay her last respects to her dead brother, only to uncover some strange goings on at the local funeral home. Beyond that I can’t really tell you what happened, as it had terrible audio, so I couldn’t hear half the dialogue.
The cast were all terrible what with monotone voices, staccato delivery and overacting aplenty. Seriously, there was more cheese and ham here than in a delicatessen.
I was shocked at how shoddy this film was! The editing is full of vision and sound flaws, such as ambient sound that is louder than the dialogue, and scenes that were obviously supposed to have special effects added but the editor forgot about them or ran out of money, and the lighting is terrible (so bad in fact that you had to squint to see who was in the doorway in one big dramatic scene) and they had tried to light the majority of the shots so they can’t blame the elements.
The characters are all vile, incestuous, manipulating, cheating, whoring, sickos and you didn’t care who lived or died. The main plot line was set in motion quite quickly but took almost an hour to come to fruition. Come on…where the hell were the zombies for the days in between their resurrection and their vengeance?
The script was full of shoddy plot holes such as the cast thinking that the prologue took place a whole year ago only minutes after we saw a title card stating that it was ‘SIX MONTHS LATER’.
I am once again offended, especially as talented people who have some great projects on their resumes were involved in the making of this tosh.
The only good point and the reason that this crap gets one star is the fact that Anthony C. Ferrante handled the make up effects, and they were it’s only redeeming feature.
OVERALL SUMMARY
This doesn’t come close to even being entertaining! I thought that it may have been a spoof, what with the tacky rip off Shaun of the Dead font pinching, and the terrible opening titles sequence, but I was so far off the mark. I hope the filmmakers weren’t under the assumption that they were making a good movie.
