The Horror Asylum

Sign Up   Forgot Password? 
11,660 horror articles & features | 6,975 horror movies | 1,565 horror reviews | 1,333 giveaways hosted | 226 delicious interviews Established in 2001  
The Horror Asylum
  Horror News   Reviews   Giveaways   Interviews
Movies | TV | DVDs | Books | Games Movies | DVD | Books | Games Just Added | Ending Soon Just Added | Archives
Home About Enquiries Submissions Advertising Premium Feeds Cookies


The 12th Annual Salt City Horror Fest Returns to New York this April Death By Sport: Surprise Sporting Goods That Kill Craig Rees and Keeley Hazell Haunted in 'Whispers' - OUT 21 March The Devil is Real as New 'Holy Terror' Trailer Makes its Debut
Horror-on-Sea 2017: Seaside Horror Warms up Winter Twisted Love Triangle Campaign 'Nicole, her Ex & the Killer' Kicks Off Frozen Fear: Horror With a Little Extra Chill How Horror Games Give Us The Fright We're Looking For

WIN Fright Night on Blu-ray
WIN Fright Night on Blu-ray
Win an Amazing Horror Movie Bundle with Pet on DVD
Win an Amazing Horror Movie Bundle with Pet on DVD
WIN Cruel Summer on DVD
WIN Cruel Summer on DVD
WIN Ouija: Origin of Evil on DVD
WIN Ouija: Origin of Evil on DVD
THE CHAMBER - Poster and DVD Bundle Giveaway
THE CHAMBER - Poster and DVD Bundle Giveaway
Win WE ARE FLESH on Blu-ray
Win WE ARE FLESH on Blu-ray

The Cottage
Buy from Buy from

The Cottage (2008)

movie | Movie Details
Images, Posters, News
| Comments
Have your say

Plot Summary:
"The Cottage is a relentless dark comedy with an extreme twist. Set in a remote part of the countryside, a bungled kidnapping turns into a living nightmare for our four central characters when they cross paths with a psychopathic farmer and all hell breaks loose."

Review by
Ryan McDonald
Follow me:
Review Date: 25 October 2009 My Rating: out of 5


Meek and stupid Reece Shearsmith and his thuggish and not much smarter brother Andy Serkis decide to kidnap the step-daughter (Jennifer Ellison) of Serkis’ criminally-inclined employer and hold her for ransom at a remote country house.

Unfortunately, the foul-mouthed (but busty!) Ellison is a real feisty customer, Serkis and Shearsmith are totally incompetent, and their accomplice Steve O’Donnell (the even more dim-witted son of the boss) immediately and unwittingly alerts his Dad to their scheme. Oh, and did I mention there’s a homicidal maniac on the loose? Pinhead himself, Doug Bradley turns up for a cameo, and there’s a nice surprise cameo at the end of the final credits (by an infamous, bald, Shakespearean actor), so stay tuned!

If Guy Ritchie and Peter Jackson ever collaborated on a remake of Hitchcock’s “The Trouble With Harry”, it might look a little like this 2008 horror-comedy from Paul Andrew Williams. This is quite hilarious stuff at times, a real pleasant surprise, and with a little tweaking I reckon it could ha’ve worked as an Aussie film, the humour is not all that different. Ellison is a particular scream as the horrible, and totally hostile kidnap victim, and it’s hard not to sympathise with her captors at times. She’s such a venomous cow!

It takes a little too long for the horror to arrive, perhaps (though when it does it comes with a bag of frozen peas. Don’t ask!), and Bradley’s cameo is a total head scratcher. However this is otherwise really amusing stuff, it’s the film the overrated and unlikeable “Shaun of the Dead” should have been but in my view wasn’t. The characters here are no more likeable than the ones in that film, but they are a lot more interesting and entertaining than the boring layabouts in “Shaun”. Serkis really ought to consider a career in horror films, he was clearly born for it, and could easily be the next Klaus Kinski or Donald Pleasence.

A fun horror comedy from Britain, with a little more emphasis on the comedy than the horror. At any rate, it’s worth a look just to see what a film starring both Pinhead and Gollum would be like.

Reviewer: Phil Davies Brown @horrorasylum
Location:Scotland, UK
Review Date: 28 April 2008 My Rating: out of 5

Andy Serkis, Reece Shearsmith and Jennifer Ellison star in this British horror comedy from director Paul Andrew Williams, about a botched kidnapping and the resulting terror that ensues as the kidnappers hide out at the titular location.

The film opens well and is quite funny and indeed enjoyable for the first half. Where it encounters problems is when the horror aspect is introduced.

Shearsmith is the stand out talent here and after him it’s Steve O’Donnell’s Andrew that provides the most laughs. Jennifer Ellison plays a slapper well and Serkis is just an average guy.

It’s a shame that the horror aspect didn’t work that well as The Farmer looks amazing and is a welcome addition to the horror bad guys hall of fame. He also has an interesting back-story and it’s in these revelatory scenes that Serkis is at his finest.

Incredibly gory and with brilliant practical effects work, The Cottage is sure to both impress and please gore hounds across the globe. When it’s funny it’s very funny, when it’s supposed to be scary it isn’t and that’s an unfortunate shame as this looked like it was going to be a standout horror effort for 2008.

Blood and Guts: Comments


Not Registered?
Sign up for FREE >>

There are currently no comments.
Why not have your say!?

Watch and Stream Horror Movies Online
using the Vidmate App


Whispers Movie Review


Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge, A Movie Review

Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge, A

Suspiria Movie Review


The Others Movie Review

The Others

Pod Movie Review


Ouija: Origin of Evil Movie Review

Ouija: Origin of Evil

Inn of the Damned Movie Review

Inn of the Damned

Disaster L.A. Movie Review

Disaster L.A.

Horrors of the Black Museum Movie Review

Horrors of the Black Museum

Visions Movie Review


Dont Breathe Movie Review

Dont Breathe

Holidays Movie Review


Demonic Movie Review


Blair Witch Movie Review

Blair Witch

Darling Movie Review



WIN Fright Night on Blu-ray Win an Amazing Horror Movie Bundle with Pet on DVD
WIN Cruel Summer on DVD WIN Ouija: Origin of Evil on DVD
THE CHAMBER - Poster and DVD Bundle Giveaway Win WE ARE FLESH on Blu-ray
I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER - WIN Blu-ray & Panda Balaclava WIN What We Become on DVD
WIN The Walking Dead Comics Companion Book WIN Tower of London on Dual Format
Now you can Watch your favorite Horror Movies using the Official ShowBox App


An Interview with Jason Blum
Jason Blum