After a drowsy driver transporting toxic waste collides with a side-rail, a barrel of the hazardous goo is launched into a small bed of water in the quiet mining town of Prosperity, Arizona. Transferred via cricket by way of the awkward Joshua (Tom Noonan) Taft, (who runs a local spider farm) the farm’s residents, having eaten the crickets eventually mutate into enormous man eating monsters. Chris (David Arquette) McCormick, a former resident with a questionable past shows up just in time to aide local sheriff (and former love) Samantha (Kari Wuhrer) Parker in a quest to stop the monstrous spiders before the entire town has been consumed and offered up to the female, a hungry and mammoth beast that dwarfs even the largest of these mutated creatures.
Well this one here is quite interesting really. It’s got some CGI that invokes a feeling of nausea that surpasses the worlds worst hangover, some horrific dialog, and a script as creative as those Gucci handbags your girlfriend picked up at the local auction. And I love every last minute of it. From the unbelievably fake looking tarantula prancing around, to the goofy demeanor that David Arquette never leaves home without – it’s just a load of fun, from beginning to end.
While it may seem I’m painting the image that the film is a technical disaster, believe me when I say it’s not. The film is intentionally over-the-top, nothing here is incidental, and honestly: writer/director Ellory Elkayem crafts a pretty damn good tribute to 1950’s B monster movies. The golly-gee innocence of yesteryear is present, though not obnoxiously pronounced, the action moves at a rapid fire pace and there’s a solid handful of likeable characters scattered throughout the picture. To add a little icing on the cake, Elkayem made sure to include plenty of goofy comedy that really separates EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS from so many other attempted homage’s, as this one is actually funny as well as fun.
Take note that EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS will not satisfy everyone. For some, the film will (without a doubt) be to cheesy; for others, it’s bounds to summon a nostalgic dose of grand entertainment. I personally know a few who are completely indifferent to the picture. For this cornball of a writer, it’s a blast that’s worth revisiting, time and again – and if you enjoy old school monster movies, it’s not unlikely you’ll dig EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS.
OVERALL SUMMARY
When it comes to cheesy action horror, few films top this goofy adventure. Come on, the already silly-beyond-belief David Arquette given free reign? I’m all in.
